We think people will change if they have the correct information (the facts). And many times they do. When they don’t make a desired change, we often assume it’s because they don’t have the correct information, so we tell them (again).
Our coaching has demonstrated time and time again that people usually know the information but they process those facts differently than we do and thus don’t change. They may:
- Not believe the information. And thus, reject it.
- Not trust the source. And thus, discount the information.
- Feel nervous about the unknowns of the change. And remain emotionally attached to their previous pathway.
- Have goals or values or needs that compete with the change.
The point is, information or more information, is rarely the key to someone changing their mind and behavior.
You must explore the internal, often unspoken, reasons a person isn’t changing. This is the only way to get past the four objections listed above. It’s not easy because the person you’re speaking with usually doesn’t understand what exactly is holding them back, and why.
Coaching skills are valuable because change is so difficult. Coaching gets to the underlying reasons, emotions, and competing values holding someone back from their desired change.
For more information or articles by Keith Webb, visit https://keithwebb.com/